Internal Family Systems (IFS) Therapy at Lori Kimmerly Therapy, Renton WA and online across Washington

Get to Know the Parts of You That Carry the Most

Internal Family Systems is built on a simple idea: you are not one single voice. You have parts — the one that pushes, the one that criticizes, the one that shuts down, and underneath them, parts carrying old hurt. IFS helps you meet them rather than fight them.

In person in Renton, WA · Online throughout Washington · Most insurance accepted

In Short

In person in Renton, WA
Online throughout Washington
Most insurance accepted
Self-pay $40–$150

Insurance

Premera, Cigna, Aetna, Kaiser, Molina, Coordinated Care, Community Health Plan, WellPoint, TriCare, United.

Availability

Now accepting new clients — in person and online.
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From Our Blog

What Is IFS Therapy?
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What Is Internal Family Systems (IFS) Therapy?

In IFS, your parts surround a calm, curious core Self. Therapy helps Self take the lead.

Internal Family Systems therapy — IFS for short — is a form of psychotherapy developed by psychologist Dr. Richard C. Schwartz in the 1980s. Explained simply, IFS starts from something you can probably already feel: the mind is not one single voice. It is a system of “parts,” each with its own job, feelings, and point of view — and beneath them all, a core Self that is calm, curious, and compassionate. In IFS, sometimes called parts work, therapy is not about fixing what is broken in you. IFS therapy helps with anxiety, depression, trauma and PTSD, harsh inner criticism, shame, and relationship patterns that keep repeating. It is about helping the parts that have been working overtime finally relax, so your Self can lead.

IFS groups parts into three roles. Managers keep life running and try to keep pain from ever surfacing — the planner, the perfectionist, the inner critic. Firefighters react when pain breaks through anyway, dousing it fast with whatever works: numbing, scrolling, overworking, shutting down. Exiles are the young parts those protectors guard — carrying the shame, fear, or loneliness of old wounds. A core principle of the model: there are no bad parts. Even the behavior you like least is a part trying, in an outdated way, to protect you.

What’s Happening Inside

When exiles carry heavy burdens, protectors clamp down harder — and daily life starts being run by parts instead of by you. In IFS language you become “blended”: a part’s feelings flood in and speak as if they were the whole of you. Internal Family Systems therapy may be a fit if:

A harsh inner critic runs constantly in the background
You say things like “part of me wants this, but another part won’t let me”
Your reactions sometimes feel bigger than the moment that set them off
Old wounds keep resurfacing in current relationships
You shut down, numb out, or get busy to avoid feeling something
You have done therapy before and understood things intellectually without much changing
You want depth work rather than symptom management alone

The Goal: A Self-Led Life

IFS therapists work toward Self-leadership: helping you “unblend” from parts, meet them from Self-energy (that calm, curious presence), and — when they are ready — release the burdens they carry, a step IFS calls unburdening. Parts do not disappear. They take on healthier roles in a system that finally trusts its leader — which is why IFS pairs naturally with the trauma work and individual therapy we offer.

Self shows up as the 8 C’s

CalmCuriosityClarityCompassionConfidenceCourageCreativityConnectedness

Meet Your Parts

Your inner system, mapped. Tap each layer to meet the parts that live there — and the Self at the center.

The Managers

The protectors who run your day. Planning, achieving, people-pleasing, criticizing — managers work to keep life controlled enough that old pain never gets touched.

Sounds like: “Keep it together. Don’t slip. What will they think?”

In therapy: Managers are respected, never bulldozed — they relax only when they trust the system is safe.

The Firefighters

The emergency crew. When pain breaks through anyway, firefighters douse it fast — numbing, scrolling, overworking, shutting down, whatever works right now.

Sounds like: “Make it stop. Now.”

In therapy: Firefighters stop fighting you once the pain they smother starts to heal.

The Exiles

The young parts the protectors guard. Exiles carry the original hurt — shame, fear, loneliness — often from childhood, held out of sight so you can function.

Sounds like: “I’m too much. I’m not safe. I’m alone.”

In therapy: Exiles are approached slowly, at your pace — and finally get to set their burdens down. IFS calls this unburdening.

The Self

Not a part — the you underneath. Calm, curious, compassionate. IFS trusts that Self is never damaged, only covered over — this is where the 8 C’s live.

Sounds like: “I can be with this.”

In therapy: Every session builds Self-leadership: parts step back, Self leads, and the whole system settles.

What Does an IFS Therapy Session Look Like?

IFS sessions follow a gentle, repeatable path for getting to know a part — therapists call it the 6 F’s. Nothing is forced; your protectors set the pace.

1Find

Notice a part that needs attention — a tightness, a voice, an urge — and where it shows up in or around your body.

2Focus

Turn your attention toward it and stay there for a moment, instead of pushing past it the way daily life usually demands.

3Flesh Out

Get to know how it appears. Does it have an image, an age, a tone of voice? How close does it feel?

4Feel Toward

Check how you feel about the part. Irritation or fear means another part is blended; curiosity means Self is present.

5BeFriend

Let the part tell its story — what job it does for you, how long it has been doing it, and what it wants you to know.

6Fears

Ask what it is afraid would happen if it stopped. The answer usually points straight to the exile it protects.

When a protector trusts the process, it steps back and lets you meet the exile it guards — and with your therapist alongside, that part can finally release what it has been carrying. IFS calls this unburdening. It is quiet, unhurried work, and it is the reason IFS change tends to hold: the system reorganizes from the inside.

More About IFS

Deeper answers for the curious — open any of these.

Where does IFS come from?

Psychologist Dr. Richard C. Schwartz developed IFS in the 1980s. Working as a family therapist, he noticed his clients talked about their inner lives the same way families work — parts in conflict, parts protecting other parts — and built a model for working with that inner system directly. It has since grown into one of the most widely trained approaches in modern therapy.

Why does IFS work so well for trauma?

Because it never forces the door. Protective parts are respected and consulted before anything vulnerable is approached, so the work stays within what your system can tolerate — which is exactly what trauma work requires. The wounded parts are met only with their protectors’ permission, and what they carry is released at your pace. It pairs naturally with our trauma therapy.

What does being “Self-led” actually feel like?

Quieter than you would expect. A charged conversation where you stay curious instead of defensive. Noticing the urge to shut down without obeying it. Responding at the speed of choice rather than the speed of reflex. The 8 C’s — calm, curiosity, clarity, compassion, confidence, courage, creativity, connectedness — stop being a list and start being moments, then stretches, of how you move through your day.

Does IFS work alongside other kinds of therapy?

Very well. Parts language gives EMDR sessions a map of what surfaces, gives somatic work names for what the body is holding, and gives couples work a way to say “a part of me” instead of “you always.” Many of our therapists blend IFS with the other approaches on this page as a matter of course.

What to Expect: Your First Session and Beyond

1Reach out

Fill out the contact form or call the office. We’ll match you with an IFS-trained therapist and schedule a complimentary consultation.

2First session

Your therapist gets to know you — what brought you in and what you want to be different. No parts work is forced on day one.

3Early sessions

You start getting to know your protective parts first — what they do, and what they are worried would happen if they stopped.

4Ongoing work

As protectors relax, the work can reach the parts carrying the original hurt. Sessions continue at a pace that works for you, with regular check-ins on what’s changing.

Frequently Asked Questions

How much does IFS therapy cost?

Sessions run $40–$150 depending on which therapist you see. We accept most major insurance, self-pay is welcome, and a limited number of reduced-fee spots are available.

What is IFS therapy in simple terms?

It works from the idea that you are not one single voice. You have parts — one that pushes, one that criticises, one that shuts down, and underneath them parts carrying old hurt. IFS helps you get to know them rather than fight them.

What actually happens in an IFS session?

Your therapist helps you turn your attention inward and get to know a part: what it does, and what it worries would happen if it stopped. You stay in control of the pace throughout.

Is IFS therapy evidence-based?

IFS has a growing research base and is widely used for trauma and complex presentations. To be straight with you: it is well established in practice, and its research literature is still developing compared with older modalities.

Do I need to know anything about IFS before starting?

No. Your therapist explains the model as you go. Most clients arrive knowing nothing about it.

Does insurance cover therapy here?

We accept Premera Blue Cross, Cigna, Aetna, Kaiser Permanente, Molina (Medicaid), Coordinated Care, Community Health Plan, WellPoint, TriCare, and United Health Care. Coverage varies by plan, so contact us to verify yours before your first session.

Is online therapy as effective as in person?

Yes — telehealth sessions use the same approaches, and many clients find it easier to attend consistently. We offer online therapy throughout Washington.

Does IFS mean I have multiple personalities?

No. Having parts is a normal feature of how minds work — everyone has them. IFS is not about dissociative identity disorder; it is a way of understanding the different, sometimes conflicting reactions we all have.

Do I have to talk about my worst memories?

Not unless and until you are ready. IFS deliberately works with your protective parts first, and only goes near the more painful material once those protectors agree. Pacing is a core part of the model.

Is what I share in therapy confidential?

Yes. What you share in session is protected by therapist-client confidentiality and Washington state law. There are a small number of legally required exceptions (for example, imminent risk of harm to yourself or others), which your therapist will explain clearly before you begin.